Another key to being a spy is the mastery of languages, which, I think we can all safley say, is like saying the key to driving is driving. When someone, let's say a German, says something like "Good Luck", replie to them "Ich ben ein staubsauger", which roughly translates to go *explitive* yourself. Of course, a better way to make it past german spys is by always carrying a brawt, as ze Germans, ze Austrians, and ze rest of the german-speaking world (that is, parts of ze Switzers) cannot resist a tasty brawt. Just throw it like you would a grenade, or a child. Problem Resolved.
Ok, moving on....
Weekend Spy Activities:
Spying on your neighbors - Always a key- in this day and age, it is often hard to know who is a terrorist and who is just a liberal- they often look the same, so stay extra vigilant if you see your neighbors wearing tight jean, unless you are in the south, where even gay people are republicans and the only people who actually vote for democrats are communists.
Spy on your children- Let us face it, if you have kids, they smoke crack. What, you didn't know?
I've been their dealer for years.
This is awkward....
Spy on yourself- A tricky thing to pull off, but do able. Make sure to bug the bedroom and shower, and put SPYware on the computer.
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