Let's be a movie review!

The Warriors was beyond excellent! My other project, the Cowboys Blog Dallas Football Guys, is coming along nicely. But I just watched the Warriors, a movie about gangs! It inspired me to write an entry about the use of gangs in spying. That will be my next entry. Until then check out my Cowboys Blog, Dallas Football Guys!

Dallas Cowboys blog

Cowboys Blog written by me and a friend over at Dallas Football Guys. Come visit. Spy tips maybe once a month during the school year, blog friends, if you want to keep checking in here. Otherwise, we are, to use a tearm from bears, hibernating.

Let's be a twitter!

Let's be a spy is now on twitter! Happy days have come to everyone! Feel free to sign up for the twitter feed @ http://www.twitter.com/letsbeaspy

You can get your daily spy updates, with tips, tricks, and ideas for how to stay off the radar and on the N.O.C. list!

A longer, better list coming tomorrow

Let's be a recipe!

The Let's be a Spy recipe book! Starring yours truly, the Spymaster himself!

And so let's get to today's recipe: Napalm!

A quick look into my Rolodex of explosives reveals that a good, quick recipe for Napalm is as follows:

Styrofoam

Gasoline

Put Styrofoam in glass container. Add gas until congealed, but not so much that there is more than about a quarter of an inch on top of your Napalm.

This stuff burns for a while. Adjust levels of gasoline accordingly.

Have fun, Spy Friends!

Field Report #2

Hey there fellow spys! How goes it, I hope you all are ready for Field Report #2, which is as follows:

Today GOTLOM came in, finally, after many days of absence, unexplained. The absence was promptly explained, however, when #3 asked why she had been not in our presence, and she sadly informed us that her operative of six months, codenamed K.I.T.T.Y., had died of a parasite, though not the extremely common toxoplasmosis. This is, of course, extremely sad. Our thoughts and covert messages go out to her and her family, and if it weren't for these spy-cool blackout sunglasses, the tears that are filling our eyes would make our sadness more than evident- that is, salty.

Seriously though, Emily, sorry about your cat. Sometimes these things happen, and it sucks.

On to other Field Report News:

#2 is leaving Thursday so sad, but now I have the perfect opportunity to steal her chair haha! I shall be the winner, and her chair shall comfort my ample bottom and support my happily fed girth. I look forward to looking back at the stealing of her chair; twill be a simple operation, simple enough that I can divulge the plan here, on the internet, to my vast number of readers, without fear that there will be any danger of its discovery. First, I shall
STEAL THE CHAIR

then

REPLACE IT WITH MINE OWN CHAIR

thus,

OPERATIONAL SUCCESS

Now, on to the controversial subject of gifts for your boyfriend.

Lets -actually, let me preface this by saying I don't believe in atheism. Think about that, my friends.

Now, on to good gifts for boyfriends.

The Rubaiyat, by Omar Khayyam- Thats right guys, brought out the big guns first. If your man is a hetero-, homo-, trans-, metro-(though they are, I believe, only surviving in protected game reserves like New York City; seriously NYC, catch up to the rest of the country! We couldn't care less about manicures!), he will love a good copy

Preacher, the Complete Comic Book series- Trust me on this one, GOTLOM. Trust me.

Till tomorrow.

Happy Friday!

SpyBlog supports weekends, just like real spys support weekends. When you are a spy, the key to being succesful is looking beautiful, and beauty, as they say, comes from getting krunk on the weekends off Jose Cuervo! Muchas Gracias, Senor Cuervo!

Another key to being a spy is the mastery of languages, which, I think we can all safley say, is like saying the key to driving is driving. When someone, let's say a German, says something like "Good Luck", replie to them "Ich ben ein staubsauger", which roughly translates to go *explitive* yourself. Of course, a better way to make it past german spys is by always carrying a brawt, as ze Germans, ze Austrians, and ze rest of the german-speaking world (that is, parts of ze Switzers) cannot resist a tasty brawt. Just throw it like you would a grenade, or a child. Problem Resolved.

Ok, moving on....

Weekend Spy Activities:

Spying on your neighbors - Always a key- in this day and age, it is often hard to know who is a terrorist and who is just a liberal- they often look the same, so stay extra vigilant if you see your neighbors wearing tight jean, unless you are in the south, where even gay people are republicans and the only people who actually vote for democrats are communists.

Spy on your children- Let us face it, if you have kids, they smoke crack. What, you didn't know?

I've been their dealer for years.

This is awkward....

Spy on yourself- A tricky thing to pull off, but do able. Make sure to bug the bedroom and shower, and put SPYware on the computer.

Back from Vacation! Or am I?

Lets face it, no one on this blog knows my true identity!

So while I can now claim to be back from vacation, I could also be not back from vacation! Or perhaps not. Anyway

Review of the first half of Burn Notice this past week

Was it good?

Yes. Yes, it was good. Though that crazy guy was annoying. Play the crazy down, you idiot. Real crazies do not act like that.

More tomorrow. Love & Hate

Let's be a Spy

Vacation!

Hey there Spy friends! I am going on vacation to a mysterious location! If you can find me, you win a prize! Just post where you think I am in the comments, and if you are correct, you win a fabulous prize!

See you next week, and don't worry, SpyCast is coming soon to your pod catcher!

USA Spy marathon all this weekend!

All day burn notice marathon followed by the Bourne Identity tomorrow and James Bond movies on Saturday! A spy could not ask for better TV!

Spy Cast has been postponed till next week, as the guests who we booked became suddenly "unavailable", so to speak.

Also, in general spy news, remember, attaching a piece of tape to a door to ensure that no one searches your apartment is foolish; if people want to kill you, it is time to break your habits and leave your current hideout until the people who want to kill you are taken out.

Field Report #1

Alright, fellow spys! Time for a field report!

But what have you been doing, I hear you ask. What have I been doing indeed! I have been spying on my coworkers! Also, I have been trying to think up television pilots and plotting movies AND in the realm of sexy exciting news I got the phone numbers of Harlan Ellison (sp? SPY! HAHA) and the great Orson Scott Card. How?

Spying.

Ok, so, field report. Currently, Numbers One & Two are reading books, books, although currently they are talking engaging with Number Four. Number Four is located in the closest proximity to the Spy Himself, and is currently working on an extremely long project for the boss of whatever company I work for! It is from this mysterious Number Four that I was able to surreptitiously obtain the numbers of OSC and HE, and hopefully a full list of government contacts, sort of like the NOC list from Mission Impossible. Except I have gotten away clean.

Also, I have figured out that I only need to work 95% of the time to get about 100% of the same results as I got when I was working all the time.

Overheard on the wire:

".... it's kind of a sea-foam color ..."

"....I'm gonna date a criminal...."

".....You mean the Divine Ratio....."

Tomorrow: Spy Cast #1

Computer Spy #1

Computer spying- you've probably heard of SpyWare, which is the computer equivalent of a Russian KGB agent infecting your computer with radioactive poison. So, since we are all spys here, what is a way you can become good at computer spying? Well, let's start by playing some simple pranks (haha!) on your co-workers.

Prank #1: Get on a co-workers computer while they are at lunch and hold down the alt key while you hit the Print screen button, which is to the right of the F12 key and above the arrows. Open Paint and paste the picture into the paint window! Then, save the picture and set it as the desktop background. Hide all their files in one folder and remove the task bar at the bottom of the screen, minimizing it! Then watch and laugh as your co-worker panics at the frozen screen! Hahaha!

Prank #2: Steal your co-workers IP address. To steal your co-workers IP address, open up their control panel and click on network settings. Then do some other stuff, and enter your IP- really, I can do this, so why do you need to?

That is all for now hahaha! Have fun pranking your co-workers.

The Weekender

Let's be a spy is on a quick staycation! Please resume your raptured reading and RSS-ing on Monday!

Car Spy #1

Hello there and welcome to another instalment of Let's be a Spy, the eccentric, oft-hilarious blog brought to you by your favorite spy, me! In today's instalment, I have very important information to share with you.

I am not a spy.

I am really just an average person like you. I go to work at a job, I have friends, I- see what I did there! See? I really am a spy! But by making a sudden reveal to you and acting out of character, I made you perceive that you had been brought into a select trust-circle. In reality, I am a spy, I was just showing you another way of convincing people that you, my spy friend, are not: telling them you aren't. And now, on to the topic of today's blog post:

Car Spying

Car spying is a lot like office spying, in that most people do not expect it to happen. When spying on other people from your car, it is helpful to have these things on hand:

-A car

-Gasoline

-A jack

-A keen sense of direction

-Eyes (that can see. Blindness would be a hindrance.)

When attempting to spy on other people from your car, a useful thing to do is help disabled motorists on the side of the road. True, this does make for some unpleasant interactions with those who are less desirable of help, but it allows you to gather information on the subject under the pretence of helping them. If you need to get close to the target quickly, try slashing their tires and steeling their jack, and then showing up with your own, thereby rescuing them and establishing trust.

Another key aspect of spying is the tail. The tail, of course, is attached to an animal at their bottom region, usually marked as an elongated appendage that acts to balance of direct the animal. In spy terms, this is not what we mean. We mean something that follows something else, duh! Anyway, try tailing people you know until you have mastered the art; since you know them, they will not contact the police if they spot you. It is essential to have good tailing skills to be a spy. Some tips:

-Keep your distance, but don't get too far away: Like all great advice, this is hard to follow. It's like a clutch. Ease it in. Ease it. You aren't doin- NOOOOOOO!!!!!! MY TRANSMISION!

-Be good at it: obvious.

-Work in a team: this can be helpful so as not to be spotted, or to have one car spotted and lost, and the other to then pick up the tail.

Alright, spy friends! That's it for today. Your homework is to follow a coworker home today. Its alright if they see you; you can just tell them it was all in good fun!

Workplace Spying #1

Hey there, and welcome to the first installment of Workplace Spying #1.

When working closely with other people, it is sometimes necessary to learn things about them surreptitiously and without their knowledge, and to keep constant surveillance on certain members of the office environment (mainly supervisors and nosy faux-spy employees). To do this you must set up an Action Plan!

Action Plan Tips

-Purchase several mirrors: Mirrors are useful and can be used in series to provide views of hallways and, most importantly, behind you. If you want, you can get at least ten mirrors (or mirror series, as the case may be) and place them around your desk. Why ten? 360 divided by 10 is 36. The maximum human visual acuity on the periphery, assuming both eyes are focused on a point, like a computer screen, is 35 degrees! So, ten mirrors puts the degrees viewed reasonably within limits!

-Have an escape plan: Be able to fake phone calls, pretend being sick, and make up client meetings as a just-in-case emergency escape plan. Ropes optional, though, in some cases, mandatory.

-Isolate yourself from your coworkers: If you cover is blown, personal relationships can complicate the need for action and occasionally the need to take hostages. It is best to avoid these kinds of entanglements. Try

-Avoiding Showering

-Being unpleasant

-Saying inappropriate things

-Professing to worship the Devil

-Inform on your coworkers: one of the best ways to gain the bosses trust, whatever the mission, is to inform on your coworkers; if your coworkers prove too straight laced, please, make up lies about them.

That's it for now. Remember, friends, the hardest part of being a spy is being. Think about it.

Hello, welcome to Let's Be a Spy!

Hey there spy guys (and gals! haha)! Welcome to Let's Be a Spy, the only website on the internet decorated to look like Spys everywhere and help you, the lay person, become the stealthy information gatherer you've always wanted to be. Written so everyone can understand and know, Let's Be a Spy is a free resource that is available for use and citation anywhere. Please, feel free to tell your friends about us, but remember, the best things in life are spy-related, so get surveying and espionaging out there, Agents!